“There is no try. There is only do.” — John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Well, like in previous blogs I’ve told you all that we were going to the Infertility Doctor. However, right now Ian changed jobs recently and doesn’t have an insurance card yet. The last treatment Ian had was 9 months ago with the insemination of the vial/semen in July. There is no evidence that there is a pregnancy.

However, after we found out there was a good possibility of no pregnancy we looked into the foster to adopt through the New Jersey state. We went to Orientation in our county and now we are looking into renting a 2 bedroom house/apartment. So we can move forward with the training classes.

Since the miscarriage we have everything we need for an infant ranging from clothes, pack-n-play (monkey theme), bouncer(monkey theme), stroller (monkey theme), car seat (monkey theme), diaper bag, ect. Yesterday, we bought the final thing we needed for a 2 bedroom and that is a crib/toddler bed.

We are doing. We know that there will be this tiny face looking up at us. We know. We love that it is not only a thought anymore. We are doing.

 

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“Last Words Are For Fools Who Havn’t Said Enough.”– Karl Marx

About 4 months ago I told you we had a second consultation with the fertility doctor. Well, yes we did get treatment back with the same people but again we tried two more times.  Both times it didnt take, :(. We were both upset. I think more me than him but we dont show our emotions the same so I dont know. All I know is that I did all the female things, I screamed, I cried, I vented, I was frustrated. I still to this day don’t understand, “Why?” However I do know that in the future we WILL HAVE a child. I do know that we have to stay POSITIVE. I do know that we have to look outside of our norm. I do know that we WILL ACHIEVE.

Like the title, you have to keep on fighting for what you believe in and what is right.

A whole LOT has happened since last time….

Surprise our wedding took place, I’m Married! Since 12-13-14, I’ve been able to sign my new name to everything. Been very happy and oh yeah we are having a 2nd consult with the fertility doctor on April 20th. The 1st consult with the doctor was great and we were approved. The first vial never took and the second ended in a miscarriage. I was depressed for over a year and couldn’t even watch anything with babies. Within the past six months or so I’ve been able to watch things and like pictures on FB but it still bothers me and I will always remember. We found out on Christmas eve morning, right before we went over to my aunts house for the seven fishes that we were pregnant and the time your suppose to hear the heart beat of the baby we couldn’t in the ultrasound. It was devastating! I cried all the time! The doctor wanted to take the baby out but we let it happen naturally and it happened on a big trip we took and that made the trip memorable I guess. Let’s hope that this doesn’t end up the same way. I am waiting for babies crying in the near future, if you know what I mean. Our own babies.